kiwi_84 (kiwi_84) wrote,
kiwi_84
kiwi_84

Me Me Me ME ME MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE goddamn it

so i had a talking to last night, (thank you) i know i didn't appear to be listening but i was and im quite concerned at where i am going with my life on an emotional level i.e. relationships etc as it seems i put far to much effort in for very little feed back and part of me is fed up of making the effort as it is like 100% effort and 0.5% return. so i don't make any "moves" as it were and then the other party responds in full force, and so the effect of that is i am lead to believe that there is more in it than there actually is so i up the ante and fall flat on my face.

In all honesty its a very vicious circle with no hope of letting up unless i am willing to just accept the fact that for the time being my emotional status has to be like the artic ie an abandoned mass of nothing because until i am truly happy with myself, its just going to shred my inner core and it's half gone already, sorry for the drama queen tendancies but it is mall my problem i fall for the wrong men and hey i get walked over so its all my fault. :-)
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